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You’re A Hard Habit To Break

01 Sep

Crisp, fall-like air wraps its loving arms around my vulnerable heart. Waves of shock travel sluggishly through my veins, easing upwards. Echoing turn of keys clanking, screeching door, resisting what’s to come.

Memories flood my senses, stuck on warp speed.

I close my eyes, squeezing tightly against the torrent of tears threatening to mix red with brown.

I sniffle, feeling slightly silly over my response at watching you in another’s hand, clutching tightly, like you use to do with me.

Anger pushes through quickly, causing me to stumble.

Surprised, I freeze, dreading the age-old internal battle to follow.

Two sides, equal in opposing determination, prepare to spar.

List the ways, list the ways, I think. Let me choose one or the other for good.

I know I’ll waiver, wanting it all!

You brought much comfort. Never failing me no matter the storm my thoughts poured on us. Faithfully, you embraced my pain, holding me close, promising, promising. I always believed you, even doubtfully. Yes, even doubtfully.

Choosing to accept the falsehoods you wrap up so eloquently in your cloak of deceit. I tune out my roaring instincts, dismissing sight and sound. I become much like Vincent Van Gogh, repainting my canvas of reality.

La, la, la, la, la, la I sing as others offered me proof of your betraying verbage.

I’m different from the others, I protest. I’m different, I plead. Treat me as such.

My mind spins, whirls, challenges each and every thought, every f-e-e-l-i-n-g!

Make it stop, make it stop, I think.

Finally, finally the conflict eases. I breathe a sigh of relief, my lungs clean and strong.

I made it through the merry-go-round of maddening hell.

I never know how long my moments of reprieve will last before the next battle begins.

This week’s prompt is all about this time of year. Take one of those emotions above (nostalgia, boredom, relief, sadness, melancholia, or excitement) and write a first person story, fiction or non-fiction, based on that emotion. Setting, circumstance, plot–all up to you. The only thing specific about this is that you write based on the emotion. Don’t just use it as a word in the story. Use any definition of any given word, keep your writing tight with no more than 750 (unless you really need more!) 

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10 responses to “You’re A Hard Habit To Break

  1. Rachel Howells (@rachel_howells)

    September 2, 2012 at 12:42 AM

    Great piece of writing – you’ve captured the internal battle that plays out in any addict trying to quit. Wonderful! 🙂

     
    • Chelle

      September 2, 2012 at 1:32 AM

      Thank you. It’s just a little of what I’m going through having recently become a non-smoker.

       
  2. Imelda

    September 2, 2012 at 9:07 PM

    Well done Chelle. For awhile there, I thought that you were pining for a lost love. Well, I mean, human love. 😀 The emotion you painted is strong and the personification was well done.

     
    • Chelle

      September 3, 2012 at 3:39 PM

      That was part of what I was going for. To give the indication of a lost love but really something else.

       
  3. danadampier

    September 2, 2012 at 9:08 PM

    This is awesome! I too battle with smoking. I’ll stop and do great for a month or more, then something will set me off and I break down. I love this!
    *from bloggymoms

     
    • Chelle

      September 3, 2012 at 3:40 PM

      It’s a crazy battle. I’m at the part where I’m almost convincing myself I could smoke just one…….sigh but I’m hanging in there.

       
      • danadampier

        September 4, 2012 at 9:01 AM

        You can never smoke just one… unless you bum one from someone. Then once your done you go somewhere where no one is smoking!

         
      • Chelle

        September 4, 2012 at 11:37 AM

        *sigh* I know. I really don’t want to break my 3 weeks of not smoking so I’ll just keep chugging along, amazed at how creative I am trying to come with ways I can. 🙂

         
  4. SAM

    September 2, 2012 at 11:54 PM

    First congratulations on quitting!!!! You can totally do,this. I’m 5 years smoke free myself. You really captured the essence of the internal turmoil.

     
    • Chelle

      September 3, 2012 at 3:41 PM

      Thanks! I keep thinking of all the people I know who quit smoking and you all are my inspiration to go on and get through that crazy talk.

       

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